Negative Nancy

There’s around two weeks before Camp NaNoWriMo and things aren’t really progrrssing as I hoped. Doing a collaboration with my sister will be good, don’t get me wrong but I’m not sure how this is going to work out. 
The story we’re planning on writing is her idea. Sure, I’ve helped developed it but there’s no connection between me and the story. It’s not like I’m not interested in the story, it’s just so distant. It was my sister who thought of the story so its her baby. Mostly, it feels like I’m intruding. Plus, I don’t really know how to contribute to the plot or how we’re going to split up the work.

We’ve talked just not in depth. I’m not too worried. Not really. We have time to figure it out. Maybe I should still write my own and at the same time help her out with her story. That . . . could work. Maybe. 

On a more optimistic side, I have made a lot of progress working on my “TV show idea”. I’ve done four character sheets, and started working on the beat sheet. It’s basically a summary of what’s going to happen and major plot points. 

It has helped me figure out where I want to put certain information pertaining to the characters and story. Despite me awful drawing skills, I have also done a sketch of my characters. They’re very rough sketches. At least I can say that I’m making progress. 

Camp NaNoWriMo

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It’s the start of March but Camp NaNoWriMo is just a month away and I’m debating whether or not to participate. While I’m still revising and editing Phantom Blade, my NaNoWriMo project, I can’t help but feel like I should write as many stories as I can this year. It’s not exactly a New Year’s resolution but I always promise myself that I need to write more and not to quit.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a lot of ideas swarming in my head. All of them have be jotted down in my idea notebook. A handful of them have almost everything planned out to write the novel. So it begs the question, should I put revising aside and write a new novel ( and start on my writing goal) or should I continue revising and finish up Phantom Blade?

A part of me thinks this is one way that I’m subconsciously trying to put off revising and editing. It’s a fine line that I’m navigating here. It’s not like I’m going to just keep writing and never get any editing done but I also want to keep my goal. If I do plan to participate in Camp NaNoWriMo this year then, I need to start organizing the story now. During that time, I can still revise and edit so that won’t be an issue.

So what’s stopping me? The usual. Doubt. Afraid that I’ll quit midway. Or that I won’t like how the story will turn out. Every fear that I have when starting a new story. I also feel like I’m somehow abandoning my other stories. In part, its true but on the other hand, I always go back and work on them.

Another goal of mine is to become a published author. At this point it feels like I won’t ever become one because I keep wanting to write other stories. Sure, I’m getting a novel ready to send out to agents. I’m just waiting for my last beta reader to finish with the feedback before seeing what I need to change and sending it out (This kind of feels like I’m making excuses).

I’m torn.